On Twitter:

Dave Hill

New York-based writer and comedian
I am a comedian, writer, musician, actor, and highly-boneable public figure who would like to come over your house. 私はあなたが好きです。
Comedy Writer
http://twitter.com/mrdavehill
http://www.davehillonline.com

mrdavehill I like this because it reflects my personality: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbHU8qOy2c4
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Thursday at 8pm at UCB, not a dry seat in the house: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/2152
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Customs never told me why I was detained today. Was there anything about it on CNN?
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Some dumb baby kept crying on the plane. His mother should have breastfed him. If I'm gonna put up with crying, I deserve to see some tits.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill And another thing- f#%k wraps in general. They are bullshit and everyone knows it.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill I already hate the dude next to me on this plane. Talking on his phone, touching my arm, and eating a wrap. Three strikes. Soon he dies.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Happy Birthday to @joegarden ! Okay, gotta get back to this paper mâché. Shhh! Don't tell him!
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Missed my connecting flight in Houston because of the customs shakedown. Now I am yelling "Houston we have a problem!" which is always funny
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Guy in line covered in tattoos and wearing a sleeveless t-shirt keeps looking around like he doesn't want people looking at his tats, dude.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill I was just detained by customs. I know a lot of my outfits are just plain illegal, but this is ridiculous.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Guy in line at customs is chomping on an unlit cigar. How do I tell him he is into dicks?
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill The line for customs is backed up really badly. So am I.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill The customs lady keeps yelling about semen. Not sure how she's spelling it though.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill I've said it before and I'll say it again- non-cutoff jean shorts for men are the ultimate surrender.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill It's weird to no longer be at sea. I will the blue waters, clear sky, & fresh air. But perhaps most of all I will miss all that hot f$#king.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill This is me just moments before being attacked by a pelican in Puerto Vallarta. Documentation by @HalSparks : http://tweetphoto.com/13901093
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill No, really, come to my show tomorrow at UCB NYC: http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/2152
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill I was just covered in algae and shocked with electrodes at a spa on this boat. There was no bad touching though, no matter how much I asked.
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Trying to find a University of Corona sweatshirt here in Mexico but so far coming up empty. This trip is ruined!
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Now we are at the Italian Coffee Company in Mexico! It is now that I have seen everything: http://tweetphoto.com/13833584
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill I am not "getting" the "money" here in "Mexico."
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill Someone threw a big rock into the water. Now everything is ruined: http://tweetphoto.com/13822023
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill I am eating stuff with @HalSparks and we are twitpicing each other so the Internet will explode: http://tweetphoto.com/13818457
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
mrdavehill About to totally walk into Mazatlan with @HalSparks . It is going to be Mexcellent. But first, playing shuffleboard with @Maddow for money!!
by Dave Hill, New York-based writer and comedian, Comedy Writer
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