On Twitter:

Jim Gaffigan

Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales
Husband to hot wife, father, comedian, actor, writer, sleeper
Stand-up
http://twitter.com/jimgaffigan
http://jimgaffigan.com/appearances.shtml

jimgaffigan Why do we make eating a sushi an activity? “We are going out for sushi"! Well, good luck. I hope you catch some. No one really cares.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Just a heads up. Coughing in someone's mouth while you kiss is apparently not a turn on.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan You know who's really shallow? This pond in my back yard. It cares nothing about the environment. #thatssilly
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Next week. Atlantic City (Sold Out) and Myrtle Beach...NE, NYC, Seattle more http://tinyurl.com/6lnykv
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan You ever accidentally catch someone in their underwear? That's awkward. Especially, if you’re holding a knife.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan I just finished a marathon! Sure, it was a marathon nap but I’m still proud of myself.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan (cough, cough) What happened? I...I had the wildest dream. You were there...and you....and YOU!
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven And the meaning of life is...wait someone is resuscitating me! Nooooo
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven Colonel Sanders just put his hand on my knee. What should I do?
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven My fake neighbor from suicide joke LOVED the suicide joke.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven Up here there are SIX seasons of "The Wire"! #OmarBack
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven C.S. Lewis just told me that the spelling and grammar police on twitter work for Satan.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven Saint Anthony just asked if i had seen his keys.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven Gandhi just yelled "Hooot pockets!" from across the room . What a dick.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven Playing backgammon with Lincoln (he's got the WORST breath).
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan #tweetingfromheaven It's amazing up here. 68 degrees and breezy, free burgers and no reality shows!
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan I read so many negative responses about my last joke that I actually killed myself. I hope you're happy now.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan My neighbor just committed suicide. So weird. I was just talking to him yesterday. I told him no one loved him.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Quick question: It's ok to give babies Red Bull, right?
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Mobile phones are the carbon dating of television shows.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Can we make it federal offense to pass gas on an airplane? http://yfrog.com/9geqpj
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Fajitas are like the Ikea of Mexican food. http://yfrog.com/my7ynj
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Waiting for my fajitas. I feel like I'm in a Beckett play.
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
jimgaffigan Is it insulting that my favorite part of Southern California is the food from the neighboring country?
by Jim Gaffigan, Big time stand-up with hundreds of thousands of cd and DVD sales, Stand-up
Eddie Izzard
British Stand Up
1589198 followers
follow
Dane Cook
mainstream comic with slew of specials, CDs and movies
1441688 followers
follow
Russell Brand
Flamboyant British comedian
1171857 followers
follow
Rob Riggle
Stand-up, actor, former Daily Show correspondent
1058540 followers
follow
Sarah Silverman
Popular female comedienne known for the ribald
760284 followers
follow
John Hodgman
Stand up, best known as PC in Mac ads.
426372 followers
follow
Aziz Ansari
Member of Human Giant and plays "Tom Haverford" on Parks and Recreation
329897 followers
follow
Bill Bailey
Named in top 10 of British Stand-ups
189473 followers
follow
Stephen Kruiser
Conservative LA-based comedian
115460 followers
follow
Judah Friedlander
Plays slacker doofus on 30 Rock
81478 followers
follow

View all

Trending on EasyLOL

Between Two Ferns
Sherrod
Zach Galifianakis
#PredictingKanyeTweets
Thor
Carell
Inception
Jersey Shore
Mexican
London

Latest Links

More