On Twitter:
StephenAtHome need investors! just came up with the most indulgent sandwich shop ever: "rub-a-dub-sub" the only place to eat a hoagie in a bathtub.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Continental Airlines is testing self-boarding in Houston. Does this mean I won't be carried through security via 4-man sedan anymore?
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Turns out you "can" make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. It's just a really bad omelet.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome I was hoping the guy from Tesla would do an acoustic cover of "Signs". Oh, well.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome I guess we know now why Basil Marceaux's dad, Marcel, stayed silent.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome No more tax cuts for the wealthy! Oops - looks like my comma key wasn’t working for a second. I meant: No, more tax cuts for the wealthy!
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Back in the Boy SEALs I was a ballistics expert. In that the older kids used to throw firecrackers at me.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome In another dimension is there The Colbdog Report with segments like Tug of My Leash/Wag of My Tail, Who's Not Feeding Me Now, and The Bark?
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I say, find a new heart surgeon.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome More breaking news on Obvi-Leaks: Reports Confirm: Stove Hot.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Why doesn't Wikileaks release documents that Americans actually want to see, like Barack Obama's birth certificate?
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Chatroulette wants to eliminate nudity. The two remaining users will have a great conversation.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Tonight's guest brings to mind the old dating axiom: 'Why buy the cow if she's not going to have sex with you for at least a year anyway?'
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Hephzibah Anderson spent a year without sex? It's hard to imagine, 365 days without anyone passionately yelling out the name "Hephzibah!"
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Shirley Sherrod should get on twitter. There's no context to be taken out of.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome I'm back! You can take yourself out of cryogenic hibernation now.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome If you can't stand the heat, get out of my studio. Speaking of which, I'm out of here for two weeks. See ya!
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome not sure why farm workers are necessary in a world where we've genetically modified corn to pick itself
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Please do not let the recent Candwich scandal deter you from investing in MY lucrative venture, the Capri Sundwich.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome I thought we already had a canned sandwich. Or is no one else eating Pringles stacked between two Pringles with extra Pringles?
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome i love photoshop. it's the only way to make sure i look younger than my kids in our christmas photo.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome happy birthday to bill! i'm sure that applies to someone.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome what a coincidence! like joey chestnut, my favorite hot dog topping is also another hot dog.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome note to self: start tivoing "the carell corral."
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
StephenAtHome Steve Carell on tonight. He looks great. I think he's had some work done.
by Stephen Colbert, Host of Colbert Report, Comedy Host
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